quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
