your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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