Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
