i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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