i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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