i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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