South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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