It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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