How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
