It's Friday. Sex?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
