Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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