its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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