my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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