You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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