I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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