and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
