i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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