Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
