After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize