Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
