OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
