don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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