Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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