What tipped you off? The sombrero?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
