how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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