She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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