sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
