I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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