porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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