Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
