I faked an abortion last night.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
