The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
