I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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