Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
