dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
