We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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