I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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