I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
