Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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