That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
