she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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