Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Small penises have feelings too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
