Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
