Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
