I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
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We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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