I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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