also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
