stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
