Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
