just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
