There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
