You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
