dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize