how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
