So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
