we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
