HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
