One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
