You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
