She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
