Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
