I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
