I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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