How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
